I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
