I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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