Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
