also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
