My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
