This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
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i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
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Come share oat with me in your robe
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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