Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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