Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I need to align my fucking chakras
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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