All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
