no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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