they need to just BURY HIM!
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
