we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
someone owes me an orgasm
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
