Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
