brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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