Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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