They should really pass out barf bags in church
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
