dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
