I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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