..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
