I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
