All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
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His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
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WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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