just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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