If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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