he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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