A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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