jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
