are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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