TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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