Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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