People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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