we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
