I feel like I'm in dance class right now
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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