Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
