Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
