Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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