i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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