Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
