Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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