you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Im part way to drunk.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
