I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
