Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
