who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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