Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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