Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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