I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
