ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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