I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
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Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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