Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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