If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
