well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
