I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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