i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
