So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
