idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
