This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Every concussion has its silver lining
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
