Sry I called you an 8
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
