You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
