I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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