he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
