I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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