My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
